Do I Love Him?
by Bianca tabbycat
Summary: Stella Bonasera was one bored woman. As she flipped through the pages of some random magazine, a heading caught her eye: How to Know If You're in Love. Result? Read to find out! One-shot.


**Do I Love Him?**

_Disclaimer: The clock on the mantelpiece could tick till the end of time, but even then, CSI: NY and its characters still wouldn't belong to me._

_Summary: Stella Bonasera was one bored woman. As she flipped through the pages of some random magazine, a heading caught her eye: _How to Know If You're in Love_. Result? Read to find out! _

_*Do I Love Him?*_

Stella Bonasera was one bored woman.

She sighed as she settled on the plush cream sofa in her friend's flat, closing her eyes and anticipating a long wait. It was supposed to be one of those rare "girly days" when she and Lindsay do… Well, girl things. Like swop gossip, or complain about their husbands – no, wait. To be more exact, _Lindsay's _husband, a.k.a. Danny.

Stella sighed once more as she mulled over her own love life – or rather, lack of it. She had never had good luck with the opposite sex. Just look at Frankie; he had gone and uploaded that frigging video of the two of them having sex, not to mention he had tried to kill her afterwards. Oh, and Drew. That son of a bitch who thought he could use_ her_ for revenge against Mac; he had obviously never heard of Stella Bonasera or her personality.

She heaved a sigh again. She was a complete wreck. Here she was, on a perfectly fine Friday afternoon, and she was drowning in self-pity over her history with men. What do teenagers say these days again? That's it – _sad_. Very sad.

Stella picked up a random magazine from the glass coffee table, flipping through the glossy pages to distract herself until Linds came back from the nursery with Lucy. She smiled at the thought of the bubbly child. Ever since she had seen the little girl, she had felt a sort of _warmth _inside, which was – weirdly – similar to the happy, content feeling she associated with Mac. She had always wanted a family of her own, with the loving husband, adoring children, maybe even a dog – the whole package deal. Perhaps that was why she loved working at the crime lab. It was like having a gigantic family, all caring for their own.

"Ouch!"

There was a shallow cut on the tip of her index finger, with drops of blood oozing out and dripping onto the magazine slowly. A paper cut. It was funny, that such a small wound could hurt so much. Grabbing a piece of tissue from the box, she used it to dab at the cut as she glared at the weapon.

Just as Stella was about to snap the periodical shut, a large heading in bright pink bold letters caught her eye. _Do You Love Him? _was the title, and the sub-heading read as follows: _Feeling confused about your love life and feelings for this one particular person? Then take this foolproof test and get things clear__ed__up__ once and for all!_

Stella raised her eyebrows. Seriously? She scanned the comments of the females who'd taken the test, all gushing about how it was 100% accurate. These people obviously had nothing else better to do than fool around with stuff like this. _But then again_, she thought,_ am I any better_? Smiling wryly, she pulled out a pen and started on the first blank as she bandaged her finger with a fresh piece of tissue.

_Please fill out whom you have feelings for: __

She bit her lip. Who should she write down? _What the heck_, she thought, shrugging. She filled out carefully: _Mac Taylor_. After all, this was just for fun, right?

_Do you feel empty without him/her?_

Stella grinned widely. This was actually designed for lesbians as well. Reminding herself of the question at hand, she quickly made up her mind and answered truthfully. _Yes_, she circled. Somehow, she always felt… strange, you could say, on her days without seeing Mac. She had always attributed the feeling to restlessness, the need to be moving around and catch murderers instead of sitting at home doing nothing.

_Say he/her fell sick. Would you take the day off to tend to him/her?_

She frowned. As a matter of fact, she would. Circling the appropriate choice, she wondered why. Maybe it was the unique bond between them, the secrets shared and concern shown. Yes, that must be why. Nodding to herself, she continued.

_Imagine a dangerous situation. If someone attempts to kill him/her, would you risk your life to save them?_

She gave a silent snort at the absurdity of that situation. Without hesitation, Stella chose _yes_. She and Mac had become close over the years – very close, sometimes overstepping the boundary between friend and boyfriend at times. She couldn't imagine a life without that reliable, caring man.

_If he/she was seen in a romantic relationship with another person, would you be jealous?_

Stella gave a chuckle at that; they seemed to have gotten the priority of the questions wrong. Quieting down, she mused over this question carefully. Thing is, when Mac was dating Peyton and Aubrey, she'd feel uncomfortable and a sense of resentfulness towards the said women. She had blamed it on hormones at that time, she remembered, and it was only now that she recognized it as the green-eyed monster. She picked the correct response.

_Do you fantasize about him/her at night?_

A light pink flush appeared on her cheeks. Thing was, she had. She drew a shaky loop around the word: _Yes_.

_Would you do just about anything to receive praise or a smile from him/her?_

Stella's brow knitted together. This was getting serious. She was already getting _"Yes"_es for five questions out of – she checked quickly – seven questions, not to mention this one. It would probably to safer to quit the test now instead of finding her "feelings" for her boss were actually more than friends. But then again, Stella Bonasera was no quitter. Taking a deep breath, she hastily made a lopsided circle and moved onto the last question.

_Last but not least, if he/she was to propose to you, would you accept?_

Stella closed her eyes and daydreamed. Could she imagine it? Yes, she could. Could she envision their possible future, with her and Mac in a cozy living room, with their children by their sides? Yes, she could. Would she accept the proposal? Yes, she would.

She flipped to the next page for her results. She didn't have to search at all; they were listed at the top of the page.

_7 "Yes" Answers: __You are head over heels in love!_ _Unconditional caring is essential to any bond, romantic or not, and will be a stable basis for going through any emotional storms between you. Real romantic love will usually endure the harshest of tests, and even deepen when the going gets tough.__ Congratulations, you lucky girl!_

_*Do I Love Him?*_

"Stella!" Lindsay called, holding Lucy's tiny hand in her own as she slammed the front door shut with her foot. Seeing her friend on the couch, she headed for Stella, ushering her daughter to the toilet to wash her hands.

"Stell, you'll never believe what Lucy did today –" Lindsay began excitedly, flopping on the loveseat opposite the curly-haired woman before she noticed the unfocused look in her deep green eyes.

"Yes," Stella whispered to herself, unaware of her friend's presence. "I love Mac Taylor."

_~The End~_

_A/N: Yay! And so Stella realized she's in love with Mac… (does victory jig) Shame this only happened in our imaginations, though. _

_This is a late birthday gift to __**Zoe tabbycat**__, who had only one requirement for her B-day fic: IT MUST BE SMACKED! Seeing as I had no inspiration until I was reading a fic in the Harry Potter archive today, it was a day late… So sorry about that. (sheepish grin) Hope you guys all enjoyed it, and please review… It would make my day – no, week – err, month… Well, you get the idea. So please press the lovely blue button below my pen-name before I kill you! (eyes knife on the kitchen counter threateningly)_

_Bianca tabbycat :D_


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